Vacations and Coming Back

THIS POST WAS WRITTEN A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO, BUT NEVER QUITE FINISHED. I'VE POSTED IT HERE ANYWAY.

Just returned from two weeks spent trouncing around Turkey with the love of my life. This vacation was much needed for a variety of reasons. It was invaluable for Christina’s and my relationship, allowing us to be together in the same place for the first time since we began dating. Unfortunately, I won’t divulge much more on that subject - our relationship is worthy of a blog of its own, so I will do the difficult task and maintain the focus of this blog on the experience of this country.

And that experience during this vacation revealed to me that, when you actually get out in it, this country isn’t so bad. Not that it’s bad usually, but when life becomes routine and you feel trapped at work all day every day and uninterested in doing anything else after work, it can seem that way. It seems boring and depressing. But seeing new, wonderful parts of it breathes fresh life into the experience of living here.

When I returned, however, it was right back into the grind. There was a major upheaval that resulted from administrative missteps, and soured my mood about this experience almost immediately. I won’t go into detail because it is not my intention to defame my workplace. However, I will express how it has affected me.

How can I respond to these fiascos? Well, in typical introspective fashion, I find myself asking how this is affecting my relationship with Christ and my experience of the Gospel. In other words, I’m asking myself: “What is God teaching me through this?”

First, of course, is perseverance. Whatever poor decisions are made by admins, I am responsible for my own reaction, and I still have a job to do. All I can do is do the best that I can in my responsibilities.

Second, I can’t help but ask the same question I have been asking, which has been on my mind from the beginning: how much of this is cultural, how much is unique to my employer?

Third, it may be God’s way of showing me the drawbacks of inefficiency and sluggardly work. I often worry about my work ethic. I think I’m too lazy, or too undisciplined. Seeing the negative results of such attitudes in others helps me desire to avoid them myself. It is essentially a motivator - I see how bad things get, so I want to do better myself. The problem is, I am still too self-focused when I think this way.

And that brings me back to the gospel.

Every Tribe, Tongue, and Nation

January 10, 2009

In contrast to Monday’s discouragement, thanks to joining the body of Christ today, I am very encouraged. Besides being a beautiful weekend in general, today’s service at church included people from all over. This is not unusual, as a couple of regular attendees are Arabic, and there are two Korean girls, and the pastor’s wife is Korean. Besides, there have been teams from Russia and a couple of other places before, too. And all that is in addition to the fact that there are brothers in Christ in Turkey! That in and of itself is enough to pump me up, knowing that here are my brothers even though I can barely communicate with them.

So what happens today? There’s an Iranian fellow in church, and after a short prayer in Turkish, someone asked him to pray in Farsi. After that, we went around the room, praying in all the languages that were represented, which ended up being an impressive list of five languages: Turkish, Farsi, English, Korean, and Kurdish.

The last was interesting too, since I didn’t realize that some of the men at church were Kurdish. I’m not even 100% sure it was Kurdish, but I’m guessing based on some previous experiences. Like the Christmas party, where the pastor was talking about the Kurdish word for “Come,” which is, apparently, “Wala!” I didn’t follow why he was talking about Kurdish, because I didn’t know that anyone was Kurdish. But when they asked one of the guys to pray in yet another language that wasn’t any of the other four, I realized it must be Kurdish.

Every time these experiences occur at church, I’m reminded of the global scope of Christ’s kingdom, and how He truly is Lord of every tribe, tongue, and nation. And nothing excites me more!

Discouragement

Judy put the word to it. That feeling we've all been experiencing over the last several weeks, at least. It's discouragement.

With administrative missteps, hormonal and uncaring students, the rose colored glasses of this whole teaching overseas experience have fallen like the scales from the blind man's eyes. Don't get me wrong - I still see God's hand in this, as I posted last time. And this discouragement will not crush me. One way or the other, I know I will be stronger because of this. But it is a real feeling, and needs to be addressed.

I would really like to see this university succeed and prosper. I pray for its prosperity daily. But it seems that lack of a clear vision, lack of motivation on the students' part, and consequently lack of motivation on the teachers' part, are counteracting that desire. I find myself more and more just wanting to be home.

It will come soon enough, I'm sure. And in the meantime, I am in TURKEY! I never in a million years would have thought I would ever be in this place, but here I am. While I long for home (and a certain girl there), I do not want to pass up the opportunities to experience this place for all its worth. After all, who else can say that they finished reading through the book of Acts in Antioch, where parts of it take place?

Moreover, it is the people here - my friends and co-teachers who, despite religious, linguistic, and cultural differences, make it all worthwhile. I really enjoyed pointing out the Turkish words for things we encountered while walking through Antakya (Antioch) with Duygu and Selda this past weekend. I enjoy exchanging basic pleasantries with all my Turkish colleagues every morning. I enjoy learning slang greetings and phrases from Hasan. I enjoy paying almost nothing for basic food items at the local market down the street, while learning Turkish and teaching English to the shopkeepers. I enjoy fellowshipping with other believers who are my brothers in Christ in spite of linguistic and cultural differences.

And in the words which many people think come from the Kutsal Kitap: "This too shall pass."

Some Things God is Doing

I'm obviously horrible at this blogging thing. How long has it been since last post? Two weeks? Three? I don't even know.

At any rate, today I do want to discuss a few things I can see God doing with my time here. First, he has placed me in a church group that is highly charismatic. That hasn't usually bothered me, because I've more or less always held the belief that as long as we agree on who Jesus is and what He came to do, then you are my brother or sister in Him. However, when I stayed for a seminar on healing one Sunday and when they supposedly healed two people and cast out a demon after their Christmas party last Friday, the point was driven home how strongly charismatic they are. And I am, of course, skeptical of such things.

But God is working even in that, I believe, since He is forcing me to confront that skepticism in a way that I never have before. Because I do believe in God, and I do believe that He is powerful, I cannot discount the reality of the spiritual realm and the reality of His power to heal and send demons running. But actual experience with such things lies outside my experience of the faith. So I am now asking questions such as: "How do I know when it really is God, and how do I know when it's only for show or the power of someone's imagination?" Granted, I would have no trouble believing that the power of one's own imagination is precisely what God uses to enact healing. But I can't claim that with any certainty, and since the result is the same either way, I will glorify God when it happens. The point is, I would probably never have had to seriously these kinds of questions if it weren't for where God has brought me. I can't say what the end result will be, but it is clear that He is using this as an opportunity for growth.

Another thing that God is doing is continuing to teach me is better teaching. I don't know how this all fits in with the call to Wycliffe, since I would like to do translation, not teaching with them. Perhaps it's just to train me for the interim between now and whenever I am to go onto the field, since I will need a job and what I have the most experience doing is teaching. It also shows me that I can endure some of the more challenging students, which means that maybe I wouldn't be so averse to teaching at the middle school level, for example, which up to this point has been anathema to me. But the students here at Zirve, eighteen or not, act like they're thirteen, and I manage to get by every day.

And of course, there's Christina! She is definitely cause for a :D! She's great, and just keeps getting better every day. I'm so glad that, in spite of my own fears and uncertainties about it, she's coming to visit in a mere two and a half weeks. I don't know how we're going to endure the several months after that while we're still 7000 miles apart! But God is faithful, of course, and so far she is definitely worth waiting for, so we can make it! Still, I covet your prayers that we would continue to place Christ at the center of our relationship and maintain our purity while she is here.

It's Been A While

Well, it’s been a crazy several weeks! First, there was the Kurban Bayram holiday, which gave us Thursday afternoon, Friday and Monday off. During this holiday, I visited the towns of Hasankeyf, Mardin, and Şanlıurfa. It was quite a trip. Mardin was definitely my favorite city, because every single building, be it residence or business, is old stonework from who knows how long ago! Pics are available at http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2390855&id=12622428.

“Bayram” is a general term for a religious holiday or festival. This particular occasion involved the slaughter of hundreds of sheep, the meat of which is cooked, eaten, and given to the poor. Everyone does this in their own home; they get together with friends and family to celebrate and “cut a sheep” as some of them have explained it to me. I actually saw quite a few grisly sheep deaths during the day that Friday!

The very next weekend, my Tourist visa was up, and since our administration could not give us clear answers about when our residence permits would be ready, three of us who were in the same boat took a day and a night’s trip to Northern Cyprus, which was also amazing! The whole ordeal was rather frustrating, but since it’s resolved now, I won’t go into too much detail. It is resolved not only because I renewed my tourist visa by leaving the country and coming back, but a few days later, we received our residence permits!

We don’t have our work visas, however, which is sort of contradictory, considering the residence permit says we are here to work! Oh well. Meanwhile, work continues as usual. There is probably quite a bit more to say, since it’s been so long, but for now, this will have to suffice. Hopefully from now on, I’ll be updating this blog a little more frequently.

Language and Culture Notes

Time

In Turkey, not unlike many other cultures that aren’t American, the concept of time is a little bit more fluid. This can lead to frustration but can also be freeing and a lot of fun. As an example, Saturday night I went to a birthday party for one of my Turkish colleagues. To go, we met at a central location (most came five to ten minutes AFTER the stated time, of course) and went to buy a present on the way to her apartment. So we walked leisurely around the neighborhood in search of a place to buy a useful present, which of course meant we were much later arriving than we intended to be. But, through that, I discovered all kinds of interesting shops and things near my own apartment. It was pretty amazing, and all due to the lack of feeling pressured by time.

Language

There are a few things I’ve noticed about the language that aren’t in the teaching books. Some are probably dialectal issues specific to Gaziantep, but others are just things you wouldn’t learn except by being here. So here are a few notes:

yok: the books say it means “there isn’t any,” which is true. But here in Antep, at least, it’s used to mean “no,” which is understandable, since the official word for “no” is kind of long: it’s “hayır.”

tamam: this is by far the most useful word in the whole if the Turkish language. It means “okay,” and you can use it for anything! Hurt your knee by falling off the curb in front of the market? Get up, dust yoursefl off, and tell the onlookers, “Tamam!” Talking on the phone, and want to let the person on the other end know that you’re listening? “Tamam, tamam.” And the list goes on...

Religion

Of course, everyone is Muslim here. But it’s interesting learning more about Islam, which I’ve only know the bare basics of before. But it’s also interesting to see the things that remain from, I assume, pre-Islamic times. There are a lot of references to genies in the culture, for example.

But the most interesting thing to me is the source of evil. The gift we ended up buying was a ring from a jewelry store. At the store, there were lots of items with Quranic verses, which, I was told, were prayers for protection from evil. This, combined with the ubiquity of the evil eye, pictures of which are hung everywhere to ward it away, made me think about the source of evil in Turkish culture.

From these examples, it seems that the source of evil is always external. This marks a huge difference from Christianity, where the source of evil is internal: it is the natural human inclination. Of course, Christians don’t always acknowledge this or live it out, either, but it is fundamental to the faith. And you can’t be a Christian without acknowledging your own evil heart.

Rain in Antep

November 2, 2009

After the first two months with absolutely no rain (except for a shower or two that lasted all of ten minutes once in a great while), rain has come to Antep, somewhat with a vengeance. The rain isn’t nearly as fierce as it would be, in say, Florida, but it is constant. Even when it isn’t actually falling, it remains overcast and dreary all day long. This makes for very sleepy weather.

The first term of English classes, meanwhile, is drawing to a close. Today marked the beginning of Week six of eight. And week eight consists of final exams, so it’s really only this week and next that we have for language learning. I’m sure a number of my students will fail, but several will pass, especially in my second class.

We had last Thursday off for Republic Day, but then had to return to work on Friday. There were very few students here, as many of them had returned home or elsewhere for the holiday. So one of my colleagues had planned on showing a movie, and was able to show it in the auditorium so that students who were here could watch. Since we had been learning food words, the movie was Ratatouille. Good thing, because, I confess, I had not done much planning for Friday.

In fact, the past week has been quite eventful, but not in any way you might think. I now have a girlfriend. It’s not really so sudden as it seems, as I met Christina before I left, and we have been in frequent contact since I’ve been here. In fact, I’ve spoken to her more than I have to anyone in my own family! We were both clearly interested in each other, but I was hesitant to start a relationship when I was so far away and uncertain what the future held.

But before we made our relationship official, I had been considering my academic interests, which have come to revolve around identity and the ways that literature and language play a role in shaping it or communicating it. As I thought for the hundredth time about this, and wondered how it fit with my desire to join Wycliffe Bible Translators, it suddenly occurred to me that this interest in identity and its reflection or shaping through language and literature were not at all incompatible. In fact, because I think of identity as a very spiritual thing, my academic and missional interests stem from the same source. With this realization, I felt free to pursue Wycliffe, and consequently, Christina ;).

I had a brief dilemma regarding the church I’ve been attending here, when they announced a Benny Hinn conference being held in Istanbul soon. Benny Hinn’s theology is terrible, and it’s hard not to see him as a money-grubbing false prophet. However, the pastor of the church here and his wife could not do their work in a fairly barren place such as this - that is, in a predominantly Muslim country - without succor from the true God. So I will continue going, though I have yet to determine what role I can play in Christ’s kingdom here.

On a more positive note, there are new people at the church every time I attend. This absolutely amazes me, as I would not imagine there could be so much interest in Christianity in a Muslim country. When I mentioned this to the pastor, he said that it isn’t a problem getting new people to come, it’s a problem getting them to stay. I’m still so blown away by the fact that they come at all that it’s hard for me to acknowledge the obvious discouragement I heard in his voice. So that is a matter for prayer: that the gospel would not just be seed on a rock or among thorns, but that it would find good soil, and grow deep in people’s hearts.

Finally, last Wednesday, my co-teacher and I were invited out to one of our students’s homes for dinner. After I checked to be sure this was acceptable in this culture, I agreed to go. That made for a fascinating experience. I felt as though I got to see how a real Turkish family lives. But there were darker tinges to the experience as well. When we arrived, our student’s father attempted first to talk to me, because I was another man. The only problem, of course, is that I don’t speak very much Turkish. He was forced to communicate to Elif, which he was obviously uncomfortable doing. He couldn’t even look her in the eyes. Once we arrived at their home, it was the mother’s and the children’s duties to serve, and the father’s to make sure everyone was being served. This was not so bad in and of itself, as its simple hospitality, but it still brought to mind thoughts of repression, in that it is not an option for the mother or daughter to serve in any other capacity.

So it has been raining here in Antep, in many ways. Rain is always, for me, a cause for reflection. There is dreariness, and perhaps sorrow to a degree, but mostly a drive to contemplation. So it is the perfect occassion to post this.